Why, Why, why

Just why?

Have you just sat there and constantly questioned why? I seem to be doing this a lot lately.

I seem to have found myself in this little rut that has been a lot harder than it usually would for me to come out it of, many things have suffered in my life while I have been like this. I would find myself in a ridiculous mood for no reason, I would stress about things that didn’t need to be stressed about. Time was running away from me, I couldn’t possibly fit all the tings that I needed to do done in a day. Yet on any other day when I wasn’t in a rut I would be able to get all these things and much more done in one day.

I’ve questioned many times why I blog, I haven’t done anything on here for a while and when I have they haven’t at all been to the best of my ability so I should have just left it. I know I am not the best blogger out there and I know I am not nearly as good as even half of them. But this is why I do blog because even though I know all this, it’s what keeps me going. I never have wanted to be the best or better than anyone else, I want to be me and I want my blog to be mine and the only way that can happen is when I am in the right frame of mind.

I have questioned why I took on a managers job with my company? I know I can do this and I can do it to the best of my ability but recently it has felt like I shouldn’t have took the job on everything has been dragging me down and I haven’t had the support of my assistant manager like other store managers in the company. I know this company and how it works like I know the back of my hand but some days I sit at work in front of my computer and wonder if I do actually know my job at all. I am proud to call myself a manager after the hard work I have put into getting myself here.

There are many other things I have questioned about life and myself but I don’t need to give you every little detail of what has been going on in my mind I would more than likely only bore you with it. I do love my life and everything in it so I know when I get in these little ruts I will come out of it and I don’t need to change anything, I just need to make sure that I don’t do something that I would later regret. I tend to keep myself silent and read when I am like I have been so I don’t cause arguments with anyone or anything like that.

The main thing that I have learnt while I have been away in my own little rut and many days I have dug myself further into a hole rather than trying to climb out of it. Never, ever give up. The moment you begin to give up is the moment that you fully have started to lose yourself and everything that you have worked yourself up to be. You will always find yourself again, it may take a day, a week or even a month but you will and you can get back to the person you once knew you were.

Until Next Time,

Tinkerbell<3

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